even after you're gone

The first time I saw you was October 14, 1999 at 2:14am. Me and your dad waited 9 months to see you living with us. I remember that day, after I gave birth to you I slept for like hours, long enough that the attending nurse woke me up to lay you on my chest for us to have a heart to heart bonding literally. Since then, I know you will never depart from my heart. We shared a lot of roller coaster ride experience and it will always be tattooed on my mind and in my heart of heart as long as I live. I watched you grow year after year. We made your homework and arts together. We promised ourselves that no matter what, we will stick to each other. You made me feel so naive that I could live a life with you. I never thought that dreadful disease will separate us. God allowed stage 4 dengue to come along our way and I was confident that we could get through it. However, God reminded me that you're not my possession and that you're HIS. Who am I to question Him? Now that you're gone, I got used to live with the pain and even after you're gone you will always be my baby. I have your brother 6 months in the way in my womb. I will let him know you. I will tell him all the stories we wrote on your nine years of existence here on Earth.

B boy Levi Wan Miguel's agility

                                                                                         

Before I found out that I was pregnant, the obgyne diagnosed mayoma on my ovary. Me and Wan's dad went back and asked for another test and check up. Finally, after the second test we found out that I was pregnant with less than a month. It cut so deep when the OB said that I have a threatened abortion. I was hospitalized and was advised to have a total bed rest. I had to file resignation on the company I've worked with. With all the prayers and hopes from family, friends and relatives. Wan is now doing fine in my womb.  I called him B boy because he's my baby boy and break-dance boy as well. His excessive agility and circulation makes me feel he is fighting for his life. Thank God for Wan's life. Whenever you want to quit life always remember that some people fight for their life even they're still not in existence of this world. Think about that.