What matters most

I miss the days when I used to receive love letters from my Bebeng. She never failed to write me a letter or just a note saying how much she loved me, how much she needed me and how happy she was that I'm in her life. Although she did it, I would always asked her "Bebeng love mo ko?" We always showed our affection towards each other. We fought like we were sisters but she knew when to treat me as her mother. She's adorable, best, charming, and she was a positive noun from a to zed. Even our dentist cried when she learned that she's now an angel. The memories still lingers in my mind. She and her nanny surprised me on my 28th birthday when I got home from office the last birthday I spent with her. It was the most memorable birthday I ever had coz what they did was they spelled my name(written on a piece of paper with an instruction on each and every letter; in order for me to find the next one after the other that would be found all around our house) and the last letter had a note with a purse she insisted me to buy. She was my life then, and maybe that's the reason why Jesus got her from me coz He's a jealous God. I even call her small portrait as my saint when she was still alive. She never wanted to be left alone that's why when I needed to have a cancer break I see to it that someone that I could trust would be looking after her. I have a lot of memories with her and I will keep them until my very last breath. Every mother would agree that nothing can compare the joy of being a mom. 

My Wan and only showed his love for me whenever he break danced in my tummy. Even when I'm asleep then he would still do his moves. He showed his last love for me by singing lullaby and sooth tapped me the day before valentines day. Jesus already answered my question why he needs to go.

They were both my angels now. What matters most is that I love and have been loved by the most precious gifts that I ever received.

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Dear Diary

Even before I met blogging. I used to addressed my diaries to the Lord. I put them on a bond paper. All the secrets I kept no limitation of words coz it was just between me and Him. After a certain period of time, I threw them on a trash can so that nobody could read them. I indited my emotions, my thoughts, especially my prayers. It was a relief as I read them coz I know I'm in the safest pair of hands of God.

Thanks to my eldest sister for encouraging me in a world of blogging. I got a lot of handful help from my girls Iris Mejia(my mentor) and Ruby Ricafrente(who gave my domain) and from our group (Pinay Mommies Community). I'm eyeing to be part of sheriff's angels as payu2blog member. I patiently waited and worked hard for me to target all the requirements needed. While having fun with it. I got a star being an AdSence blogvertiser.

Do you have diaries? 

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Bloody Mary

I admire Maricar Reyes how she handled the controversy she had faced with Hayden Kho. I never heard her and her family granted the greedy press to have feast on her private life. She never allowed people to be drowned on the said scandal. Instead she is now busy with her craft and still embrassing the privacy of her life. She didn't uplift herself for the people that doesn't have anything to do with her. She still stand tall with prim and proper gesture.

Not unlike a person that was emailed to me by a friend. Let's call that person unnamed. Unnamed insists that the immorality they've done was not true. I was there while you're doing those things. I kept my mouth shut for long, I thought I could still keep it to myself. Until finally God gave me the courage to let go of the calvary I'm carrying. God told me that I could still go on with my life. I wish I didn't see it with my own two eyes. I just wish I heard it or just read from a text message. No matter what you say my eyes will never lie to myself. No matter what your reasons are, they didn't matter anymore. I don't know where you got the guts to tell it to my mom.  

Havoc was over. Blood of your own blood. Flesh of your own flesh. Should I say blood is thicker than water?

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Mama

I was inspired to write this because of the movie The Black Swan. I bet it became an eye opener or should I say a reminder that we should not leave values and the things that our mom taught and trained us. I've noticed the difference between the old and the most recent speech of the awardees of the Oscars' 83rd Academy Award winners hosted by James Franco(127 hours) and Anne Hathaway(love and the other drugs). Almost all of them addressed their gratitude to their moms. I even remember Anne Hathaway paved way to her mama. I told my siblings not to watch it without our mom coz it's kinda hard to contain what (Nina Sayers)The Swan Queen and Best Actress Natalie Portman did to herself and her mom.

I call my mom Mama, ma, muma, mudra, and sometimes mudrax. As the Word says Obey your father and mother in the Lord for this is right. I'm just an ordinary daughter who didn't follow parents. I sometimes insists to my mom what I know was right. We had a lot of altercations. But I would not trade her to anyone's mom. I love her not because she's there when I fail, not because she is a silent operator(she made way to fix most of my problems without my knowledge), not because she loves me and nags at me when I did wrong, but because she  is the one that God gave me. I didn't promise her that I will be the best daughter that a mom could ever dream of coz I know nobody could ever achieve it. All that she wanted for me is to grow up and to establish my life according to what is right. (not left? haha)

I'm grateful that I still have her. Are you?

Love song

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful Jesus 
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


I'm everything I am
Because you loved me 

A love song from Celine Dion and excerpt from Google lyrics. As of the moment this is my love song to Jesus as you can see that I edited one word from baby to Jesus. We could always cater love song to Him if you were to remember the line " In moments like this, I sing out a song, I sing out a love song to Jesus. In moment likes this I sing out a song to the Lord."